Children at Easter Time

There’s a woman who sometimes comes in to the Starbucks that I frequent that I have talked with a few times, Carolyn, and I have learned she goes to the older singles class at the church I used to go to (she’s never said her age, but I’m guessing she’s at least in her late 40’s).  I also have learned she doesn’t like it when children act like children, much less when they get really loud and even slightly out of control.  She’s never been married, so I’m sad for her that she has such a negative view of children.

One day a few weeks ago, she was sitting at the set of couchy chairs everyone jockeys for, and I was there and so was a 19-year-old girl, Shelly, and her boyfriend when a couple with their adorable twin girls came in.  I have a hard time guessing childrens’ ages, but I’d say they were around two or three. They were dressed in such cute, adult-looking dresses and sweaters that it was hard not to fall in love with them.  While their parents were enjoying their time together, the girls were walking around the store, enjoying their time of exploration with a fun, child-like wonder in their eyes.

Suddenly, Shelly started laughing.  After seeing her past reactions to other little kids during prior visits to Starbucks, I knew she was feeling a bit of that maternal instinct (can you believe it from a 19-year-old?), and I saw Carolyn with a look of incredulity on her face that practically screamed, “What’s wrong with those parents to let their children enjoy themselves in public?” I could hardly hold in my anger at her expression, so to help her understand how abnormal her view was, I asked Shelly if she thought the twins were adorable.  I later thought about adding on that since they have two, they’d probably be willing to let her take one home, but the thought came after she left, but from my conversations with her, she probably would have said, “Oh, may I, please?”

On the Saturday before Easter, Carolyn again joined me at the couchy chairs, and I overheard from her mobile phone conversation why she wasn’t going to church on Easter.  I was appalled that she wasn’t going because so many people would be there with their children!  I would never do anything of the sort, but I felt like slapping some sense into her for being so anti-social!  Instead, I did well to avoid all small talk with her the rest of the day for fear I’d say something I would regret.  Thankfully, the only words we exchanged occurred when I got up to leave around dinner time; she asked me if I’d had enough of the day, to which I responded that I had plans for the rest of the night.

In Carolyn’s defence, I have learned that people who have such a negative view of children typically were denied a normal childhood themselves and were most likely punished severly for acting anything like a child while in public. I’m not saying that children should be given free reign in any and all areas of life, but they should be given adequate boundaries and appropriate freedoms for their age. To break a child’s spirit in such a manner is one of the cruelest and longest-lasting forms of abuse. While I can feel sad that Carolyn has never been married, I also feel relieved that no one has yet been hurt by her. I believe everyone deserves a chance to find love, but I hope that Carolyn’s heart grows before she gets involved with anyone.