I wish I could say that the aforementioned unfortunate events with these women have not affected me negatively, but I did find my actions yesterday weren’t as admirable.
With it being Good Friday, I had the day off from work, although our office called it Spring Holiday. With the extra day off, I spent much of the day at Starbucks, catching up on my reading. One of the female workers that I chat with occasionally asked me how I was doing when she came around clearing the tables, and I could tell it was more than just the casual “Hello, how’s it going,” but since I had just been reflecting on how I had been so severely attacked by those who believe they are Christians, I really didn’t want to say how I was really doing, so I just said hello to her (a habit I sometimes follow when I know someone’s just asking as a friendly form of “hello”) and went back to my reading. I could tell I had hurt her feelings, though, but I really didn’t want to get into it.
Later that night, I decided to eat out at one of my favorite restaurants, Outback Steakhouse. Again, I was thinking about how those who claimed to be loving had so attacked me without cause, and with the restaurant not being very busy, I didn’t have to wait long for a table, but I did get to enjoy a bit of The Incredibles on one of the TVs by the hostess stand. Since the restaurant wasn’t very busy, one of the hostesses that always seems to be working when I come in asked me if I worked close by; while I do, I actually live much closer, so I said I just live down the street and went back to watching the movie, to which she responded that she does, too, and that she really likes the area. While I’m normally a very chatty fellow, I really didn’t feel like talking much that night, so I nodded an agreement to her and went back to watching the movie.
When my table was ready, I must’ve gotten so engrossed in the movie that I didn’t hear the hostess at first trying to get my attention. I felt badly about my rude behavior and wanted to apologize in some manner, so I remarked to the other hostess that walked me to my table that I was surprised that The Incredibles was already on DVD and had gotten very engrossed in watching it. She remarked they had already seen it loop through a couple of times that night. While I know it wasn’t a complete apology, I feel it fit the bill based on the level of the relationship; besides, the movie did distract me enough to get my mind off my thoughts, so it was true in a sense.
Needless to say, it troubles me that I became so rude in these two instances, and there have been other times I’ve caught myself, but since these happened on the day that our Lord was betrayed by someone He trusted, it hit me a lot harder; while the betrayal I received was nowhere near as extreme as His, even a partial parallel was difficult for me to miss.
While Good Friday is a time to reflect on the death of our Lord for our sins, Easter is a time to reflect on His resurrection from the dead, showing He conquered sin and death, that which used to hold everyone captive. So, on a positive note, I look forward to a resurrection and healing of my emotions, and with that in mind, I’d like to share a poem I wrote a couple of years ago:
The Dance of Love
When the music starts,
I lead her to the floor.
With rhythms abounding,
We dance and we soar.
The words of the song
Are written in our dance.
As my hand moves around her,
I change her stance
To follow into a drop
Or a dip,
With my perfect partner,
I won't trip.
As I hold her in my arms
And turn her to friends' applause,
We smile at each other
And know love has no flaws.
Happy Easter!
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Why men don’t ask women out - The Contribution of Enkinda Teufel
The final indignity I experienced from the women in this singles group that called themselves Christ followers was the day after I organized a night of dinner and dancing and learned how Enkinda Teufel was the ringleader of these women and had their minds and hearts under her complete control.
A handful of men and women had expressed an interest in going dancing, so I made reservations at a place the singles group had been before for a birthday party (the place is a popular restaurant with a dance floor). Since the activity wasn’t an official event on the singles group calendar, I had to send out the invitation to those whose e-mail addresses I knew rather than relying on the official group’s e-mail list. I sent the invitation to over 30 people, including some who were not part of the singles group but were friends I had made at the church.
On the night of the event, we had about seven people show up, a good number for a rainy night, although I had gotten an RSVP estimate for 15. It’s always disappointing when you have to tell the hostess of a restaurant that you don’t think the rest of your party will be showing up, but at least other patrons will get seated a little earlier. Even with such a small number, everyone had a great time, which was all I could really hope for, and those who attended thanked me for organizing the event.
The next day at the end of the singles Sunday School class, a couple of the male leaders pulled me aside and told me that I should not have invited the people I did for the dancing event and that Enkinda Teufel, one of the recipients of the e-mail, had actually complained to them about my sending out the e-mail. Needless to say, I was quite flabbergasted that someone would actually be offended she was invited (there were some on my e-mail list that I wasn’t keen on seeing, but I felt it would’ve been unkind to exclude them). I told the leaders that I would never invite another immature person to an activity I’d organize.
Later that day, I felt highly incensed that I had been judged by someone who was akin to those in the 1st century that believed Christians were guilty of a mortal sin for eating meat sold in the marketplace that had been offered to idols, so I wrote an e-mail to the leaders of the group who had called me on the carpet, letting them know neither they nor Enkinda had any authority over what I chose to do with my friends, and that they should deal with the immature who judged me as harshly as they had dealt with me. I also let them know that I would never be inviting anyone else to this church or singles group unless they handled the situation in a Godly manner.
Later that week, I found Enkinda’s influence upon another, Valerie Emshiska, when she not only attacked me in the way I wrote about in a previous posting, but also attacked three other friends of mine with such ferocity and ungodly intent.
Once I realized the influence that Enkinda Teufel had upon this church and singles group, I made a decision to remove myself from the seat of Satan and look elsewhere for Christians to fellowship with. To this day, I have never gone back, and I have never heard anything from the leaders of the group in response to my rebuttal to the accusations made against me.
A handful of men and women had expressed an interest in going dancing, so I made reservations at a place the singles group had been before for a birthday party (the place is a popular restaurant with a dance floor). Since the activity wasn’t an official event on the singles group calendar, I had to send out the invitation to those whose e-mail addresses I knew rather than relying on the official group’s e-mail list. I sent the invitation to over 30 people, including some who were not part of the singles group but were friends I had made at the church.
On the night of the event, we had about seven people show up, a good number for a rainy night, although I had gotten an RSVP estimate for 15. It’s always disappointing when you have to tell the hostess of a restaurant that you don’t think the rest of your party will be showing up, but at least other patrons will get seated a little earlier. Even with such a small number, everyone had a great time, which was all I could really hope for, and those who attended thanked me for organizing the event.
The next day at the end of the singles Sunday School class, a couple of the male leaders pulled me aside and told me that I should not have invited the people I did for the dancing event and that Enkinda Teufel, one of the recipients of the e-mail, had actually complained to them about my sending out the e-mail. Needless to say, I was quite flabbergasted that someone would actually be offended she was invited (there were some on my e-mail list that I wasn’t keen on seeing, but I felt it would’ve been unkind to exclude them). I told the leaders that I would never invite another immature person to an activity I’d organize.
Later that day, I felt highly incensed that I had been judged by someone who was akin to those in the 1st century that believed Christians were guilty of a mortal sin for eating meat sold in the marketplace that had been offered to idols, so I wrote an e-mail to the leaders of the group who had called me on the carpet, letting them know neither they nor Enkinda had any authority over what I chose to do with my friends, and that they should deal with the immature who judged me as harshly as they had dealt with me. I also let them know that I would never be inviting anyone else to this church or singles group unless they handled the situation in a Godly manner.
Later that week, I found Enkinda’s influence upon another, Valerie Emshiska, when she not only attacked me in the way I wrote about in a previous posting, but also attacked three other friends of mine with such ferocity and ungodly intent.
Once I realized the influence that Enkinda Teufel had upon this church and singles group, I made a decision to remove myself from the seat of Satan and look elsewhere for Christians to fellowship with. To this day, I have never gone back, and I have never heard anything from the leaders of the group in response to my rebuttal to the accusations made against me.
Why men don’t ask women out - The Contribution of Dani Gehemevort
When it comes to the women I‘ve been talking about that are members of this singles group, you can tell that each one has an incredibly convoluted view of reality. However, there is one woman I met that was guilty only of asking some very weird questions and wanted to discuss topics that I felt were very off the wall. That woman was Dani Gehemevort (not her real name).
Although I’d like to give some of the women in this group the benefit of the doubt, it’s very possible that even Dani also had quite an imagination, but, to her credit, all she ever did was ask questions that, at worst, seemed designed to evoke controversy or provoke a reaction; of course, it’s possible she never learned how to be good at small talk.
The last time I talked with Dani was the one time that sticks out to me the most. After a large group of us had finished dinner at a local restaurant, I went to the movies with Dani and another girl. No one else was interested in going, probably because it was getting late, although we did ask a number of people, but I was definitely in the mood to see a movie, and I figured there’d be no misinterpreting the event as a date (I wasn’t romantically interested in either woman, and by this time, I was beginning to be aware of how unsafe the women in this group were).
The movie we went to see was In Good Company, the one with Dennis Quaid being demoted and getting a boss young enough to be his son (his new boss eventually starts dating Quaid’s daughter in the movie, which was a bit weird, but I digress). It was a very good movie, and I guess the other women enjoyed it, too. When we left the theater, I wanted to be the gentleman, so I asked where the women had parked. The other woman had parked in a very well-lit area but Dani had parked in a much darker section of the parking lot, so I walked Dani to her car and kept an eye out for the other woman until she got in her car.
On the walk to Dani’s car, she brought up one of the weirdest topics one could ever imagine. “You know, I’ve been taking Tae Kwan Do lately,” said Dani, “and I bet I could lay you out flat with what I’ve learned.”
Okay, I thought, that’s weird. But not knowing what else to say and since I viewed Dani as a bit of a tomboy, I responded the way I would’ve if a male friend had said the same thing. “Oh, I bet you couldn’t hurt me that much. I’m quite a bit more resilient than I look.” Actually, I’m 6 feet tall and do some light weightlifting and look like a stockier version of Vin Diesel, so I know I look quite resilient, but I figured she’d take it as a joke.
“Well, if I had a Taser, I bet I could stun you and you’d be flopping around on the ground,” countered Dani.
Okay, where was this coming from? Why would someone bring up such topics so out of the blue? Instead of letting it lie, though, I responded once again with male bravado, “Oh, I bet I could take quite a bit of punishment.”
By that time, we reached her car, so I bid her good night, watched her get in her car, and walked back to my car. On the drive home, I started reflecting on Dani’s topic of conversation and began wondering if she was trying to be defensive, based on some imaginary threat. I later asked some other friends, and they also said they had no idea why Dani would bring up such a weird topic; since these friends knew me fairly well, they couldn’t imagine someone viewing me as a threat.
As I said earlier, Dani has brought up some other far-fetched topics in the past, but I felt that if she was going to imply she felt unsafe with me when I was doing her a favor, then she really didn’t deserve my company, so I’ve classified her with the other women who don’t have a solid grip on reality.
Since that night, I haven’t talked with Dani and don’t plan on it.
Although I’d like to give some of the women in this group the benefit of the doubt, it’s very possible that even Dani also had quite an imagination, but, to her credit, all she ever did was ask questions that, at worst, seemed designed to evoke controversy or provoke a reaction; of course, it’s possible she never learned how to be good at small talk.
The last time I talked with Dani was the one time that sticks out to me the most. After a large group of us had finished dinner at a local restaurant, I went to the movies with Dani and another girl. No one else was interested in going, probably because it was getting late, although we did ask a number of people, but I was definitely in the mood to see a movie, and I figured there’d be no misinterpreting the event as a date (I wasn’t romantically interested in either woman, and by this time, I was beginning to be aware of how unsafe the women in this group were).
The movie we went to see was In Good Company, the one with Dennis Quaid being demoted and getting a boss young enough to be his son (his new boss eventually starts dating Quaid’s daughter in the movie, which was a bit weird, but I digress). It was a very good movie, and I guess the other women enjoyed it, too. When we left the theater, I wanted to be the gentleman, so I asked where the women had parked. The other woman had parked in a very well-lit area but Dani had parked in a much darker section of the parking lot, so I walked Dani to her car and kept an eye out for the other woman until she got in her car.
On the walk to Dani’s car, she brought up one of the weirdest topics one could ever imagine. “You know, I’ve been taking Tae Kwan Do lately,” said Dani, “and I bet I could lay you out flat with what I’ve learned.”
Okay, I thought, that’s weird. But not knowing what else to say and since I viewed Dani as a bit of a tomboy, I responded the way I would’ve if a male friend had said the same thing. “Oh, I bet you couldn’t hurt me that much. I’m quite a bit more resilient than I look.” Actually, I’m 6 feet tall and do some light weightlifting and look like a stockier version of Vin Diesel, so I know I look quite resilient, but I figured she’d take it as a joke.
“Well, if I had a Taser, I bet I could stun you and you’d be flopping around on the ground,” countered Dani.
Okay, where was this coming from? Why would someone bring up such topics so out of the blue? Instead of letting it lie, though, I responded once again with male bravado, “Oh, I bet I could take quite a bit of punishment.”
By that time, we reached her car, so I bid her good night, watched her get in her car, and walked back to my car. On the drive home, I started reflecting on Dani’s topic of conversation and began wondering if she was trying to be defensive, based on some imaginary threat. I later asked some other friends, and they also said they had no idea why Dani would bring up such a weird topic; since these friends knew me fairly well, they couldn’t imagine someone viewing me as a threat.
As I said earlier, Dani has brought up some other far-fetched topics in the past, but I felt that if she was going to imply she felt unsafe with me when I was doing her a favor, then she really didn’t deserve my company, so I’ve classified her with the other women who don’t have a solid grip on reality.
Since that night, I haven’t talked with Dani and don’t plan on it.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Why men don’t ask women out - The Contribution of Helen Francisco
By now, most of you are wondering what planet I must have been living on where such women exist to do nothing but try to destroy men for their own pleasure. Well, let me tell you about Helen Francisco (not her real name).
On one of the big picnic party holidays, I went to the home of a guy who was hosting what was promised to be a great day of fun, food, and fellowship. I got there fairly early (I’m not big on being “fashionably late”), which was good, as I had signed up to bring the chips and no one else had brought any. Now, if you’ve ever been to a big get-together, you know that hardly everyone has the same tastes, which is why I decided on bringing three different flavors of Dorito’s. Shortly after that, a small, heavy-set guy arrived and started telling me how no one will be eating the plain Dorito’s and how we should put away the cool ranch flavor bag and only open the nacho cheese flavor bag.
Now, I must admit that some guys do deserve a bit of a wake up call, and at first I thought I should tell him that I didn’t consider myself a nobody, as the plain Dorito’s is one of my favorites, but I ignored him, and when he went off to another room in the house, our host brought the bags back out and put them on the table, putting a bowl in front of each one. And, since I was a bit hungry, I decided I’d fill a plate with some of my favorite Dorito’s while a girl next to me had some cool ranch ones.
After all my experiences with the women in this singles group and seeing how this non-host guy operated, I guess I can understand how these women probably would’ve been considered normal to most other people. However, crazy is as crazy does, to paraphrase one of history’s greatest philosophers.
As the day progressed, I met more people and talked with some of those people I already knew. I was enjoying myself immensely and actually talking with a couple of women that had come together and were new to the group. As we were talking about a number of topics, I was rudely interrupted by Helen Francisco, who was also seated at the table talking with the aforementioned chip-controller guy. With a volume greater than a conversational level and with a significant amount of anger in her voice, Helen proceeded to tell me not to say another word, and that she was going to tell the leader of the group (who wasn’t at the party) that I didn’t deserve to be here, and that she was going to recommend I be kicked out of the group.
Needless to say, everyone at the table, which included the two new women, Helen, the chip-controller guy, and another two women that had occasionally been involved in our conversation, were dumbfounded with this incredible revelation. Since I had no answer to these incredible accusations, I had no idea about how to respond. Finally, after a few seconds of us all looking around at each other, I started talking again with the women I had been talking with when Helen broke in, kicking off a totally unrelated topic. The women engaged me once again, and as we talked for a while, I felt Helen’s eyes remain on me until she finally got up and left.
When Helen moved outside and out of earshot, I then asked the two women I had been talking with and the other two women if they had any idea what it was I had said or done to require such a verbal beating. The women I was talking with couldn’t identify anything, but I did get feedback from one of the other women at the table. She told me I did nothing wrong but that Helen had actually done something just like this to the leader of the group some time back. About that time, another woman came up and asked what we were talking about, so I told her, and she also confirmed that Helen had done something much like this before.
Later in the evening, a number of us were sitting around the TV watching The Best of Mr. Bean (I think that’s what it’s called) when Helen walked in the door with her mobile phone ringing. Perhaps it was my imagination, but she certainly said loudly enough for everyone to hear as she crossed in front of the TV that it was the leader of the group on the phone. I’m sure it was her way of trying to dig deeper into the wound she tried to inflict upon me earlier, but I just totally ignored her then and the rest of the night.
The following Sunday, I sought out the leader of the group to talk to him about the incident. He said he’d check into the event and let me know if he learned anything. Since he didn’t say anything about Helen telling him about this before, I was pretty sure she was up to some kind of game.
The leader never mentioned the incident to me again, but about a month later, Helen did come over to me while I was talking with a friend after Sunday School and apologized to me for her behavior at the party. In the following weeks, Helen’s highly talkative behavior transformed into a more quiet demeanor, and there were a number of things mentioned about how God was now using her in extraordinary ways.
So, if God can change Helen, I believe he can also change Yancy and Valerie.
On one of the big picnic party holidays, I went to the home of a guy who was hosting what was promised to be a great day of fun, food, and fellowship. I got there fairly early (I’m not big on being “fashionably late”), which was good, as I had signed up to bring the chips and no one else had brought any. Now, if you’ve ever been to a big get-together, you know that hardly everyone has the same tastes, which is why I decided on bringing three different flavors of Dorito’s. Shortly after that, a small, heavy-set guy arrived and started telling me how no one will be eating the plain Dorito’s and how we should put away the cool ranch flavor bag and only open the nacho cheese flavor bag.
Now, I must admit that some guys do deserve a bit of a wake up call, and at first I thought I should tell him that I didn’t consider myself a nobody, as the plain Dorito’s is one of my favorites, but I ignored him, and when he went off to another room in the house, our host brought the bags back out and put them on the table, putting a bowl in front of each one. And, since I was a bit hungry, I decided I’d fill a plate with some of my favorite Dorito’s while a girl next to me had some cool ranch ones.
After all my experiences with the women in this singles group and seeing how this non-host guy operated, I guess I can understand how these women probably would’ve been considered normal to most other people. However, crazy is as crazy does, to paraphrase one of history’s greatest philosophers.
As the day progressed, I met more people and talked with some of those people I already knew. I was enjoying myself immensely and actually talking with a couple of women that had come together and were new to the group. As we were talking about a number of topics, I was rudely interrupted by Helen Francisco, who was also seated at the table talking with the aforementioned chip-controller guy. With a volume greater than a conversational level and with a significant amount of anger in her voice, Helen proceeded to tell me not to say another word, and that she was going to tell the leader of the group (who wasn’t at the party) that I didn’t deserve to be here, and that she was going to recommend I be kicked out of the group.
Needless to say, everyone at the table, which included the two new women, Helen, the chip-controller guy, and another two women that had occasionally been involved in our conversation, were dumbfounded with this incredible revelation. Since I had no answer to these incredible accusations, I had no idea about how to respond. Finally, after a few seconds of us all looking around at each other, I started talking again with the women I had been talking with when Helen broke in, kicking off a totally unrelated topic. The women engaged me once again, and as we talked for a while, I felt Helen’s eyes remain on me until she finally got up and left.
When Helen moved outside and out of earshot, I then asked the two women I had been talking with and the other two women if they had any idea what it was I had said or done to require such a verbal beating. The women I was talking with couldn’t identify anything, but I did get feedback from one of the other women at the table. She told me I did nothing wrong but that Helen had actually done something just like this to the leader of the group some time back. About that time, another woman came up and asked what we were talking about, so I told her, and she also confirmed that Helen had done something much like this before.
Later in the evening, a number of us were sitting around the TV watching The Best of Mr. Bean (I think that’s what it’s called) when Helen walked in the door with her mobile phone ringing. Perhaps it was my imagination, but she certainly said loudly enough for everyone to hear as she crossed in front of the TV that it was the leader of the group on the phone. I’m sure it was her way of trying to dig deeper into the wound she tried to inflict upon me earlier, but I just totally ignored her then and the rest of the night.
The following Sunday, I sought out the leader of the group to talk to him about the incident. He said he’d check into the event and let me know if he learned anything. Since he didn’t say anything about Helen telling him about this before, I was pretty sure she was up to some kind of game.
The leader never mentioned the incident to me again, but about a month later, Helen did come over to me while I was talking with a friend after Sunday School and apologized to me for her behavior at the party. In the following weeks, Helen’s highly talkative behavior transformed into a more quiet demeanor, and there were a number of things mentioned about how God was now using her in extraordinary ways.
So, if God can change Helen, I believe he can also change Yancy and Valerie.
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