A Turning Point? (or The Dance of Love)

I wish I could say that the aforementioned unfortunate events with these women have not affected me negatively, but I did find my actions yesterday weren’t as admirable.

With it being Good Friday, I had the day off from work, although our office called it Spring Holiday. With the extra day off, I spent much of the day at Starbucks, catching up on my reading. One of the female workers that I chat with occasionally asked me how I was doing when she came around clearing the tables, and I could tell it was more than just the casual “Hello, how’s it going,” but since I had just been reflecting on how I had been so severely attacked by those who believe they are Christians, I really didn’t want to say how I was really doing, so I just said hello to her (a habit I sometimes follow when I know someone’s just asking as a friendly form of “hello”) and went back to my reading. I could tell I had hurt her feelings, though, but I really didn’t want to get into it.

Later that night, I decided to eat out at one of my favorite restaurants, Outback Steakhouse. Again, I was thinking about how those who claimed to be loving had so attacked me without cause, and with the restaurant not being very busy, I didn’t have to wait long for a table, but I did get to enjoy a bit of The Incredibles on one of the TVs by the hostess stand. Since the restaurant wasn’t very busy, one of the hostesses that always seems to be working when I come in asked me if I worked close by; while I do, I actually live much closer, so I said I just live down the street and went back to watching the movie, to which she responded that she does, too, and that she really likes the area. While I’m normally a very chatty fellow, I really didn’t feel like talking much that night, so I nodded an agreement to her and went back to watching the movie.

When my table was ready, I must’ve gotten so engrossed in the movie that I didn’t hear the hostess at first trying to get my attention. I felt badly about my rude behavior and wanted to apologize in some manner, so I remarked to the other hostess that walked me to my table that I was surprised that The Incredibles was already on DVD and had gotten very engrossed in watching it. She remarked they had already seen it loop through a couple of times that night. While I know it wasn’t a complete apology, I feel it fit the bill based on the level of the relationship; besides, the movie did distract me enough to get my mind off my thoughts, so it was true in a sense.

Needless to say, it troubles me that I became so rude in these two instances, and there have been other times I’ve caught myself, but since these happened on the day that our Lord was betrayed by someone He trusted, it hit me a lot harder; while the betrayal I received was nowhere near as extreme as His, even a partial parallel was difficult for me to miss.

While Good Friday is a time to reflect on the death of our Lord for our sins, Easter is a time to reflect on His resurrection from the dead, showing He conquered sin and death, that which used to hold everyone captive. So, on a positive note, I look forward to a resurrection and healing of my emotions, and with that in mind, I’d like to share a poem I wrote a couple of years ago:

The Dance of Love

    When the music starts,
    I lead her to the floor.

    With rhythms abounding,
    We dance and we soar.

    The words of the song
    Are written in our dance.

    As my hand moves around her,
    I change her stance

    To follow into a drop
    Or a dip,

    With my perfect partner,
    I won't trip.

    As I hold her in my arms
    And turn her to friends' applause,

    We smile at each other
    And know love has no flaws.

Happy Easter!